Month: November 2013

Things I Have Learned

1.) There is a point in your life, if you have been extremely fortunate, where you no longer interview for jobs. You interview the jobs and see if they’re right for you. Most people who have made this transition still do not realize it, and continue to interview as though they need to sell themselves, rather than the other way around. Look carefully at yourself. You may have already made this transition.

1a.) The time to leave a job is when you no longer see a way forward.

2.) For a long time, I assumed people in authority positions were there on merit. Rarely so.

3.) For a long time, I assumed people in authority positions were there because they knew things that I could not possibly know. Rarely so. Everyone is a human. They are insecure. Their knowledge is limited. They have the same impostor syndrome that you do.

4.) The difference between a good leader and a bad one is trust.

5.) Don’t be an asshole to people for short-term gain or satisfaction. Be nice. Treat people with respect. Don’t think about a week from now. Think about a decade from now. If you’re building relationships that will last, you’re the tortoise, not the hare.

6.) Don’t waste your time on people who don’t deserve it. Your time and your mental space is valuable. Increasingly so as you get older. You don’t need to maintain a lot of relationships, just the extraordinary ones.

7.) One of the best moments in life is when you talk to someone about an idea, and they immediately make it better. You don’t get that if you keep your ideas to yourself.

8.) You assume you are weak because you see only the parts of other people that are strong. They have the same issues you do, but you don’t see them. They will sympathize with you. They will understand you. They are also weak. You are both strong. Stronger still, together.

9.) You only really know who you are when you have to do something hard. When you’re faced with a difficult choice. Don’t be scared you’ll fail. You will. Learn and make better decisions.

9a.) The more you make the hard decisions, the more you learn about yourself, the easier it is to make more hard decisions. It is a virtuous cycle. All you have to do is start. What is it that you’re thinking about that you haven’t decided on?

10.) Extension of 9: Regret is fine. The only way to live without regret is to have controlled everything in your life. You don’t, but you *think* you do, so there will be things that happen that you regret. Regret is the pain that you carry with you so you don’t make the same mistake again.

11.) It’s not how you do it. It’s why.

12.) You will fail at all of this. I will even fail at having made a list of lasting advice, and some of it I’ll look back on & realize was horribly wrong. The only lasting failure is the inability to learn, or the inability to try again.

13.) In the end, the most important thing about any venture is the people. Find good ones. Don’t let them go. They are the thing that matters.