So, bebeh’s now 1 month old, as of yesterday. It’s been an interesting month. Busy, tiring, frustrating, rewarding… all the things that everyone seems to say, and none of it really captures the feeling of it all.

I’ve been as tired as I’ve ever been in my entire life. I’ve found that with enough sleep, I can tolerate his cries for as long as need be, but with too little, I get really frustrated, and sadly, really angry, which is difficult, because I know that being angry doesn’t serve any purpose. But still, that’s part of the reaction, and learning to deal with it is part of the process.

We’re still trying to figure out how to get enough sleep to both be fully functional people, and it alternates. Last night, Ei-Nyung let me get a full, uninterrupted 9 hours of sleep. When I woke up, I nearly wept with gratitude. I wish I could do the same for her, but biology makes that a bit more difficult. Still, I do what I can.

It’s interesting watching him grow. He follows things, clearly, with his eyes. He looks at his reflection, though I have no idea what he’s thinking when he sees it. What a strange little guy. He’s sleeping now, in a sling, as I type this.

Some unsolicited advice for people who may be in a similar situation – the first month, when you’re dealing with a new addition to your family, the level of stress, of fatigue – they make everything more intense. You may feel euphoric after the slightest positive step, or you may become completely despondent over the smallest frustration. Anything that you introduce during this time is going to be heightened. If you have a poor relationship with your family or friends, now is not the time to try to mend those relationships, or even maintain them.

It’s been an interesting month. Seems like only yesterday it was just the two of us & the dog, yet also forever since he’s been here.

Tomorrow, scaffolding goes up in preparation for home repairs to hopefully fix the 8 years of leaking windows. Next week, the entire front of the house comes off. Let’s see how that goes. 🙂