So… what’s up these days, anyway?

1.) Car: The paint job on the car’s basically stalled – I’ve probably legitimately got two full coats to go, with an additional two edging coats. It’s not a huge amount of work, but work’s been really tiring recently, and I just haven’t had it in me to actually spend the time to finish it up. I’ll knock it down next week for sure.

2.) Work: Nothing much going on, really. The good thing is…

3.) Time Off: I have next week off. I’ll knock down the car paint job, and I’d like to do something else with the time as well – something I wouldn’t be able to do otherwise. I was thinking maybe I would try to make a path in the back yard, and do some weeding in the front yard. Not terribly impressive, but whatever.

4.) Games: Finished Bioshock – the game was pretty extraordinary. Without giving anything away, it was 95% awesome – the problem is the 5% that failed to follow up on that initial 95% was so obviously absent that it really felt … missing. Great game, great structure, and it really has something to say about games. To me, it’s easily the best statement about interactivity in games that I’ve ever seen. Super Puzzle Fighter HD is coming out tomorrow, which I’m pretty psyched for.

Other than that… yeah, I dunno. Not a hell of a lot else going on.

So, I just read something interesting on Kotaku – they were talking about how basically at Leipzig, Nintendo gave them a booth tour that showed them that what was the “gamer” crowd is no longer Nintendo’s target market.

Now, I think that’s great – I think it’s utterly astonishing that Nintendo’s gotten grandmothers and such into gaming. Amazing. And a lot of companies are thinking, “Oh, man! We didn’t invest enough in the Wii! Spend spend spend!” But what’s interesting to me is that if Microsoft sells 6 million 360’s to people who will buy, on average, say, 15 games, Nintendo sold 7 million Wiis to people who over the last 10 or 20 years have bought a grand total of one game. Wii Sports.

Now, I don’t doubt that Nintendo will find the Nintendogs or the Brain Age of the Wii, and they’ll sell a ton of those to grandma & grandpa. But the EAs of the world who are thinking, “Crap! We’ve missed the boat!” – what happens to them? The people who’ve bought the Wii aren’t going to be interested in Medal of Valor 8. They’re just not. And if EA or whoever expects to sell to this crowd, I shudder to think what’ll happen when they realize that these are people who will buy maybe 1 more first party game in the course of the console’s 5 year lifespan and not a damn thing else.

So… thirty-one, and I’m periodically reminded that I’m still a completely immature asshole. Things that shouldn’t bother me still really, really do. A stupid oversight on people’s part in one instance, a stupid oversight on one person’s in another.

In both cases, I should just say, “who cares?” and be done with it. Nothing’s going to get better by me being pissed about it forever, nothing’s going to change the past, and in this case, it’s the past that *matters*. They’re not huge things, but they’re things I’m reminded about frequently these days, for some reason.

And the thing is, what do I get by being pissed, anyway? In one instance, I’m passing up an event that’ll only happen once. Will I look back on it and think, “That was dumb.” Of course. But that doesn’t change the fact that if I *go*, I’ll just be resentful and pissed off the whole time. In the other case, I’m being pissed about something that’s almost totally irrelevant. I dunno – it’s just one of those stupid things where you’ve got a group that takes a deliberate and thoughtful interaction in a bunch of previous instances, then when it comes around to your “turn,” nothing happens. Any sense of group dynamic disappears. Some individuals remain thoughtful and considerate, and others are nowhere to be found.

Yeah, it doesn’t matter. Yeah, I’m being an ass. Yeah, it’s all completely fucking ridiculous. And it reminds me that I’m still not the person I hope to be one day.

Ah, well. It’s good to know what I need to work on. :\

So, week after next, I have a week off, and no real plans for anything specific. I want to finish painting the roof of the car, and I have weeding in the front yard that has to be done. But what I was thinking I might do is sleep only when I want to. That is, rather than sleeping from ~1:30-8, which is about what I’m doing these days, I’ll sleep when I’m tired, and not when I’m not. So, rather than going to bed at 1:30, I’ll go to bed when I’m actually at a point where I could fall asleep almost instantaneously, then stay up until I feel that way again.

I’m curious whether a 24-hour cycle is “right” for me, because it really doesn’t feel like it – I feel like I’m on more like a 30-hour cycle, and every couple nights have to either force myself to go to sleep, or force myself to wake up.

Anyway – I might give it a try.

This is Space Giraffe. It’s basically Tempest, with a couple other mechanics added on top of it. I was looking forward to it, ’cause I wanted an old-school shooter, but playing the demo, I just can’t bring myself to get it.

Its defenders will undoubtedly say I don’t “get it,” and they’re totally right. I don’t. But it’s not *my fault* – it’s the designer’s fault. Everything looks the same. The visual noise is constantly cranked up to 11. All the mechanics are given *ridiculous* names like, “rinsing” a level (getting rid of all the enemies), or “bulling” them (knocking them off the side of the level when your ship is “powered up”). They use these terms during the tutorial, which is *incredibly* stupid, and leaves the player completely disoriented.

More, the mechanics aren’t *good*. I understand what I’m supposed to do, I just don’t care to do it. It’s not terribly interesting. Wait for powerup, wave back and forth, hitting enemies. Whoop-de-doo.

It’s like Tempest with a whole bunch of pointless crap laid out on top of it that serves to make it less accessible, less interesting, and because it’s so busy all the time, it just settles into a completely oversaturated boring mess.

Bleah.

So, I see articles like this all the time. And I get why – these people are professionals, and seeing the distinction between how they do what they’re supposedly passionate about on the clock, and what they then do in the comfort of their own homes is sort of interesting.

But honestly, does it matter? If I’m in a kitchen all day, cooking up a storm, the *last* thing I’m gonna want to do is go home and spend another hour or two in the kitchen. One of the reasons I love cooking is that it’s really different than what I do all day. It’s a chance to have a creative outlet, and try a bunch of wacky things – to create something new and different.

Sure, there’s probably a few chefs who are *so* obsessed that it’d be interesting to see what they eat in their off-hours, simply because they’re now free to pursue their obsession unfettered from the restrictions of working in a restaurant environment. And so, maybe if I could get an insight into those people, this subject might be even marginally interesting. But for 99% of the chefs/cooks out there, I just don’t *care* what they do at home.

Ei-Nyung brought up a good point, re: A_B’s blog post about Bioshock, that what’s important in this discussion is *who* is raising a particular question, and *why*?

And in that regard, I agree with A_B, that having someone who’s driven by a philosophy I don’t agree with raise a point, even if the choice is there, should make me question why they’re raising a point, what the context is, and what point they’re trying to make, as an artist.

Ken Levine’s a very, very capable game developer. Historically, Irrational’s games have been very focused – I think that’s why you can say Irrational, as a developer, has a *character*. Their games are a certain way, and that’s because you have someone with a vision guiding the company. That doesn’t mean that the games aren’t developed in a collaborative environment, and that other people bring their own views to the mix, but the *best* games are often guided by someone who can marshall that collaborative energy and focus it at something.

So, yeah, I think if Levine has an agenda, it’s in the game, simply because he’s one of the few developers that actually is capable enough to develop an agenda, and place it in an interactive environment with enough depth that it’ll actually get someone to *think* about what it all means.

So, again in that regard, I agree with A_B that if you were to have someone of a particular view – let’s say, a Republican, who’s created a political simulator that allows for meaningful decisions and choices – even if it allows me to make substantial decisions about my character (let’s make him a Democrat), I have to question why the whole process is framed in a certain way, and what the creator wants me to think. If it’s someone who’s a Bush Republican, I also make my purchasing decision based on whether or not I want to give that person money, which I most certainly do not.

But, to me, I think the reason I’m willing to give Bioshock a shot, despite all that, is that I’ve played almost all of Irrational’s previous games, and the thing that sets them apart, for me, is the amount of control I have over *who I am* in the game.

This is something that most games simply don’t do. Whether I’m cast as a hero, and I’m working for the good of all, or whether I’m cast as a selfish asshole, most games define my character for me, and then center all of the interaction in the world around me. While Ei-Nyung makes a distinction between characters that do heroic things, and those that don’t, I’d say that a lot of games, even where you’re cast as the hero, because they’re centered around *your* story, and you’re the only one that matters, I am the sole driving force of all action in the entire game universe, and I basically don’t need to consider anything else, except in any way that someone else may be of benefit to me.

In a game, if I help someone, I’ve been trained to almost universally expect that I will get something in return. I help them *because* I know I’ll be rewarded. Yes, the narrative reward may also be that my character is altruistic, but as a player, it’s still in service of *me*.

But, I’ll concede that there are some games where your character isn’t purely selfish. Even something like Half Life 2, I think, succeeds where other games fall down because they create characters that you feel altrusim/empathy/whatever towards. You wouldn’t shoot Alyx Vance in the face to get a health powerup. At least, *I* wouldn’t.

But in almost every other FPS, you’ll shoot anything that moves. If you weren’t trained to be such a selfish asshole, you couldn’t play an FPS, because you’d empathize with the people you’re shooting, or you’d weigh their lives vs. your progress in the game.

I think that’s one of the reasons that I have a hard time framing Bioshock as Objectivist propaganda, because it’s from one of the few companies that actually considers that the player wants the ability to define their avatar’s *character*, and give them meaningful choices in the world relating to those decisions.

I would like to see someone interview Ken Levine very specifically on the point of his views on Objectivism, and whether he believes the philosophy a good one, and what his intentions were with the creation of Bioshock. I don’t think it’ll happen, but it would be nice. I think current game reviewers haven’t done it because game reviewers almost universally completely infantile (several particulars excepted, but we’re talking 2-3 people, maybe, total).

I don’t really know. I think Ei-Nyung’s right, in part, that one of the reasons I’m spending so much time on this is that I feel like A_B would be *great* to talk about this game with, if he’d play it. But I can see his objections, and I can see how I’d react similarly under different circumstances. Hell, I didn’t play GTA 3 at all, because I found it morally reprehensible. I played VC & San Andreas later, and I was able to play them in such a way that I never had to do the things I felt were particularly egregious. In that regard, I think the GTA games succeeded, despite the fact that you still had to basically become a mass murderer to progress through the game. Again, given what I know about their games historically, I think Bioshock’s going to be really interesting, and I’m hoping they’ll give me the ability to play through it in the way that I want.

An aside: I never finished Shadow of the Colossus, because I didn’t feel like I could actually make the decision to do the right thing, and I felt strongly enough about it to actually put the game down and not play it again. People tell me I should finish the game, but I think I *have* finished it. I got to a point where I couldn’t justify playing any further, even though it’s entirely fiction. Because it’s *interactive* fiction, *I* didn’t want to continue, and I made the decision to stop. To me, that’s an incredibly powerful statement on the part of the game, that it could elicit a response like that.

To me, if Bioshock does end up as essentially Objectivist propaganda, I’m sure I’ll put it aside as well. I’m hoping it’ll be as interesting a philosophical engagement.

So, scheduling didn’t work out, and the presentation’s off for a couple weeks. Alas! It’s not a bad thing necessarily, but it’s still stressful, and now it’ll be at least low-grade stress for another couple weeks. Still, gives us a chance to polish things up even more, so there you go.

Otherwise? Things are fine. Sanded down the car roof for the last couple coats of paint tonight. It’s definitely getting closer to being done, but not there yet. Looks awesome, though.

Had a pretty crazy dinner tonight.

Extracurricular “work” has pretty much stalled on all fronts. The car’s not getting painted, ’cause I’ve gotta thoroughly sand the roof down due to a bunch of particles getting in the last coat, ’cause I didn’t clean up thoroughly after the last sanding. Argh. The project with the peoples has hit a bit of a snag, ’cause half the peoples are so busy with their regular work that no one’s been really free to meet up. Which sucks, but such is life. Still – it’s something I want to make sure continues, it’s just a question of figuring out *how*.

Work’s alright – sort of neither here nor there. I could be giving the presentation as soon as tomorrow, or if the schedule doesn’t work out tomorrow, it looks like it’ll be put off another two weeks, ’cause the boss-man’s outta town. Bleah. Hopefully tomorrow, then. I gave the presentation yet again today to some people who’d been involved, but went on vacation and recently came back. Didn’t go as well as the run through on Friday, but it pointed out a couple bits of weirdness that I’ll have fixed by the next time we do it.

Been *really* slacking on exercise – I haven’t been to the pool in almost two weeks – part of the problem is I keep forgetting my stuff at home. I should find out how much it costs to rent a locker, or just leave my swim stuff at work. Bleah.

Oh – I got my knee checked out – I don’t know if I mentioned that yet. Structurally, it’s sound, but there’s definitely something funky going on. Still, knowing the joint is strong is a good thing for me – I’m just overstressing it in some fashion, so I’ll have to figure out what’s causing the stress and deal with that. But it’s good to know the ligaments are still good, even if the joint itself is sore.

Listening to Holly’s Junior Boys CD – I really like the song “Double Shadow,” and I picked up The Bravery’s album The Sun and the Moon. I like “Time Won’t Let Me Go,” and “Believe.” They’re almost some sort of ’80’s revival band, but this album’s a lot less faux-New Order than the big single off their first album, so that’s good. Now, they’re sort of fake New Order meets the fake Cure, or something. I dunno.

Been playing the Bioshock demo, DiRT, just finished the Darkness, and keep contemplating reading Jonathan Franzen’s “The Corrections,” but yesterday ended up reading a variety of cookbooks, instead. And now, it’s time for sleep. Whee.

So, I read an article on Bioshock here, because I was curious why a certain Bastard was so convinced it was pro-Objectivism that he wouldn’t even consider it, despite there being a free (awesome) demo out for it.

Having played a fistful of Irrational’s previous games (System Shock, SS2, Terra Nova, etc.), one of the main tenets of their games is that they give the player the freedom to develop their own character. So, for Irrational to have done something objectively pro-Objectivist seems out-of-character to me.

Now, having read the review, it seems like Rand “appeals” to Levine, though (and perhaps this is desperate rationalization) he doesn’t necessarily say that he espouses those beliefs. The way I read it, my impression was more that it was fertile ground for an interesting setting/story/characters, and that the ideas were interesting enough that they’d make for an interesting story.

Now, I’m not going to argue that Objectivism is good – I, like A_B, think that it’s a fundamentally self-absorbed, immature worldview. But at the same time, it’s sort of like Communism – the distinction between how it plays out as an ideology in an ideal setting versus how it interacts with basic human nature is fertile ground for discussion of what human nature really is, how people are motivated, and why people are drawn to particular philosophies.

I mean, in general, I like Communism as an ideal, but in practice, I’d never, ever want to live in a communist society. I want rewards when I do well, and I want success to be personally meaningful. That’s not to say that I want to be completely self-centered, either.

But I like the idea of fiction using that as a starting point to illustrate the essential perils of the philosophical extremes, and seeing how those play out in a world like this. To me, the opening of Bioshock certainly doesn’t paint a positive picture of Objectivism – it seems like you had a megalomaniac who was in love with the concept, then when he put it into practice everything went to shit. Whether that’s what plays out in the game or not, I don’t know – but a world in which the people were supposedly free of the burden of altruism and needing to work with others/rely on them/help them out – having the player walk through the consequences of an embodiment of that philosophy, and essentially even make some choices relating to how they want their character to interact with that clash of philosophies – seems interesting to me.

Of course, the problem is that on the other hand, I understand the reason you’d be completely turned off to the concept as well – I *don’t* want to play a game based on fundamentalist right-wing evangelical Christianity. I just don’t. I find the sort of Fred Phelps version of Christianity utterly repugnant, and want nothing to do with it. You *can’t* pose interesting moral questions based on that philosophy because it’s so obviously insane.

So, yeah, I get it – but based on my previous experiences with Irrational’s games, I have faith that Bioshock is going to be an interesting, stimulating experience – whether because of, or despite the philosophical trappings I can’t say. But my god, that demo is incredible.