So, bunch of stuff has happened recently. The biggest weird thing is that I’m no longer part of Self Aware Games or Big Fish. Reflective Games, which was what we were calling ourselves with the new studio, is no more, and that whole experience is behind me. There’s really not much else I can say about that. I loved the teams, and I loved the people I worked with over the last five years.

One thing that I’m really looking forward to, though, is spending more time with J & K. K’s starting to almost talk – he says “Banoon!” for balloon. Also for moon. “Ba!” for Ball. He’s got Mama & Dada most of the time. He *loves* to play with balls. To throw them, to catch them, to bounce them. He’s got this great thing, too, when he’s really excited, where his legs just pogo – you know if he’s really happy when you pick him up, because his legs do this: || <> || <> it’s adorable.

J’s really becoming his own person. He’s going through so much as he grows up – he used to love dinosaurs – would obsess over them, read about them, wanted to do almost nothing else but learn about dinosaurs – and one day, it all stopped. It’s taken a while, but I think that the root of the change was that no one else at his daycare liked dinosaurs, and either he got made fun of, or he didn’t want to be different. Which is really sad. I’ve been trying to convince him that it doesn’t matter what the other kids like, and that if he wants to learn about dinosaurs, we can do that at home as much as he wants. But I think there’s just that peer pressure that’s hard to avoid. We’re also building some pretty complicated Lego sets together. It’s really interesting to me, because when he’s in a good mood, and can focus on it, he’s quite adept at matching up the pieces, finding them, putting the thing together. But you can *see* him get tired doing it, and how he stops paying attention or stops caring. Which is fine – I’m not trying to pressure him into anything (at least not consciously, though I’m sure I am to some degree) – but it’s fascinating to watch him go from excited to having his mind wander off, and then come back to it.

Been going to a bunch of trackdays at Sonoma Raceway, Thunderhill, and Laguna Seca. It’s been a blast. It’s sort of like bouldering in many ways – the track is a problem, and you’ve got to figure out the best way around it. Each corner is a challenge, and there are many different circumstances that dictate the best way to tackle it. You get a lot of visceral physical feedback when you’re doing it right (and wrong). I feel like I’ve learned a LOT, and that every time I go to the track, I get a noticeable step better/faster. It’s also a really fun way to hang out with people – gives you a lot to talk about in between sessions. There are a bunch of folks I know who want to do this sort of thing, and are held back by their car, or the thought that you need previous experience or whatever. You don’t need a crazy car. You don’t need previous experience. There are SO many people who go to these things where it’s clearly a “bucket list” item that they’ve dreamt of for ages. Why wait? Just do it now. That way if you really love it, you get to do it even more!

Anyway. Yeah – kids. Work. Or no work, rather. That’s about all that’s up so far.

So, let’s take a previous thought and expand on it a bit.

First:

There is a common “saying”. It pops up again and again in books and discussions of “how to be a (whatever)”. I have seen it most commonly in discussions of “how to be a game designer” and “how to be a writer”. The saying is usually something like this:

“If you want to be a writer, then just start writing. Now you can call yourself a writer.”

So that’s the context. Shows up all over the place. It is not something I’m creating as a strawman, or what have you. The caveat is that the second part is important, because it’s the second part that’s wrong.

The first part is fine – if you want to be a writer, you MUST start writing. If you want to be a game designer, then you MUST start designing games. For both of these, there are theoretically no prerequisites – you can just start doing them.

You’ll just start doing them really badly, and make a lot of stupid mistakes if you don’t do a lot of homework first. If you want to write, read. If you want to design games, play games. But you can’t just do those things casually – you can’t do them as a consumer of media. You have to do them analytically. What do you like? Why do you like it? Do you read things that you don’t like? Do you power through the parts that you don’t like to try to figure out what *someone* saw in this thing?

If you want to create something, you’re not creating things in a vacuum. You’re creating them in the context of everyone else who’s making stuff. And sure, that can be intimidating. But if this is your passion, you’re probably already doing this. Just make sure that you’re putting effort into your consumption, because that’s how you’re going to learn.

The next step, of course, is to do the thing. The magic about writing, or designing games (which is mostly writing unless you’re also a programmer or artist), is that you can just do it. Got a pencil & paper? Great, that’s all you need. Now just start.

But don’t you fucking dare call yourself a writer or a game designer yet.

You’re learning. That’s great. You’re making progress towards your goal. You’re a student. You’re exploring. You may “do” some game design, or you may write a bit. This is essential progress. If you feel like it’s too harsh to say that you can’t call yourself the thing that you want to call yourself, then *fuck you*.

Because you don’t know anything yet.

I can write until my fingers bleed. I can design a thousand games in spec form. I can do this ad infinitum for years on end. And in doing so, I can waste ten thousand hours and not improve at *all*.

There’s another saying, “Practice makes perfect.” It’s nice, right. Put in the time, and you’ll work your way toward perfection. Except it’s total bullshit, and not true even in the slightest.

“Practice makes permament.” I wish I could take credit for that, but I can’t. But this is the right saying. If you practice, and you repeatedly do the same thing over and over, what you’re doing is making it easier and easier for you to continue to do the same thing over and over. So if you’re making mistakes repeatedly, congratulations! You’ve just improved at making those *same mistakes*.

Let’s try a different phrase: “Focused practice with feedback improves your skills.”

First, fuck perfection, nothing’s perfect. Second, you need feedback on your work to make progress. YOU can’t see what you’re doing because YOU’re too invested in it. You know how much work you put in. You know what you were trying to accomplish. You have context and understanding of your work that *no one else has*.

So practice through repetition without feedback is a waste of time. Get feedback. You don’t have to finish your thing to do that. You barely have to start. But seek feedback. Get input. Even if it’s *mortifyingly embarrassing*. I wrote two attempts at a novel via NaNoWriMo (a highly, highly recommended experience to everyone who’s reading this – it completely changed my outlook on creative pursuits, and my *life* as a whole). I managed to finish twice (more on this later), but more than that, I got a few other people to read them and give feedback. This is a *horrifying* process, because I *know* they’re awful “novels”. That’s the nature of NaNoWriMo. You write. You don’t slave over each word, or hand-craft each sentence, because if you do, you won’t finish in time. So you write 50K words, and pray that you’re able to finish.

And when I was done, I showed the result to a few people. And it was, like I said, horrifying. I *know* there are things in there that are embarrassingly awful. I know there are things in there that a 3rd grader wouldn’t write if they spent 5 minutes thinking about it. I didn’t spend 5 minutes thinking about it – I just *wrote*, because that was the nature of the project.

But I got feedback. And that feedback taught me a lot.

I write specs for game designs all the time. I get tons of feedback on them. Sometimes on the content, sometimes on the clarity of the communication itself. Every time I strive to do better. You need that input to improve anything you do. Practice in a vacuum is a waste.

Second, you *must* finish. Let me be clear. I don’t mean you have to sell your novel/game. I don’t mean you have to be a professional. I don’t mean it has to be good. I don’t mean it has to be the epitome of what you were trying to accomplish. I don’t (in this case) even mean that anyone else has played it but you. But *you* have to consider it done.

Why?

Because it is absolutely, absolutely trivial to “design a game” via handwaving and grossly wrong assumptions about how things actually work. You can have what you think is an absolutely genius, pristine spec, and the moment someone tries to implement it you find it’s full of contradictions and nonsense. But you don’t find that out *until* someone tries to implement it. You can make paper prototypes, and learn a lot, but you won’t learn what the game will be like when it’s done. You can implement a prototype, and get a “feel” for whether what you’re doing is successful or not, but that’s all it is – a feel.

Your game real until you finish it. Until you finish it, all your assumptions are good. All your thoughts about how things will be are awesome. All your beliefs about how a player will react are spectacular. They’re also almost all wrong.

Put the game into a player’s hands – even your own, though playing your own game isn’t terribly useful (see feedback, above) – and then you’ll start to understand all the ways in which your assumptions don’t work. You’ll understand how players see your game. How they get lost in the UI. How you’re not telling them about what they should be aspiring to. How the controls are confusing. How the things that you thought would be motivating factors don’t motivate them at all. How you thought that green would be distinguishable from the other green over there. How a player doesn’t value the 5 minutes of fun that you’re giving them more than the 5 minutes of fun they’d get staring at a wall.

This is where you learn. This is the feedback. You *only* get this in the most meaningful ways when you’ve said, “Here is the complete experience that I intended to create,” and you get stabbed through the heart. Or you see people understand your vision. Or you create something someone loves.

Or you first get stabbed through the heart, then pick yourself up off the ground, and fix the problems until people understand your vision, then give it the love and craft and attention to detail and devotion and creative spark that turns it into something that someone loves.

Congratulations. You’ve made something. Now you get to give yourself the label.

If you don’t complete your game, you haven’t learned all the important lessons about how to make something that has value to someone. You haven’t learned how to iterate. You haven’t learned where your assumptions have betrayed you. You haven’t learned about how what people want is different than what you thought they wanted. You haven’t learned what it is like to design a game. Or write a novel. Or create anything.

So yes, take that first step. Write. Design games. Be terrible at it. Because first you must jump in and start.

But if you want to call yourself a game designer, or if you want to call yourself a writer, or if you want to call yourself a creator of any kind – finish something. Fight through the hard part. Work though the pain of being wrong, or creating something terrible. But work at it, beat your head against it, drag this thing that you want to make kicking and screaming out of nothing and bend it to your will. Then show it to someone, and take that feedback like a punch to the gut and *get back up* and get back to fucking work until you’ve made the thing that you’re proud of.

Now stamp that label on your bloody chest, and wear it like you fucking earned it.

Not one goddamn second before.

So… it’s been a good long while since I’ve written anything. Since the last post… we’ve got a new kid! It’s been a real adventure with two – I don’t think I’ve ever been this constantly wiped out – it’s just so rare to get any genuine downtime. Used to be we could trade off, but a lot less so now, and even in the moments when Ei-Nyung’s got the two kids, it’s one of those things where the guilt of knowing she’s going to be totally overwhelmed, and I know that the feeling is the same in the opposite situation.

Still, it’s been wonderful to see J blossom as a big brother. He’s really generous & loving, and while there are definitely moments of jealousy or “regression”, he’s really taken to his new role well. He loves running over to K & giving him a big laugh – and he loves it when K smiles back at him.

What else is new since the last time? Hm. It’s been a bit strange realizing that there was this period in my life when I logged a lot of information through blogging, but now, with stuff on Twitter & Facebook, and without an easy-to-use keyboard when I’m browsing the web, there are way fewer opportunities to actually write anything that isn’t incredibly short.

That said, the smaller, incremental communication also precludes a lot of thoughts accumulating and needing to be put down in longer chunks.

So… we just got back from a vacation at Donner Lake. Gorgeous place. We got a place through VRBO, and it was a great house. The general location was a sort of wooded pine area, 5 miles or so from Donner Lake – basically exactly what I was looking for, though slightly less “in the middle of nowhere”, because Tahoe Donner is a big ol’ development with a bunch of amenities and such that are geared toward this kind of visitation. So that was odd, but still – close enough to what I was looking for.

K, J, Ei-Nyung & I were there for 5 days, and some friends came up to spend the first few days with us. Overall, just a few days of relative relaxation – though definitely having two kids around 100% of the time, and having some trouble getting a good night’s sleep meant that at least one of the days was a complete wreck where just staying awake & engaged was all that I could handle, but getting away from home was something I sorely needed.

Donner was great, but I don’t know that I’d be back any time soon – it was a little too developed & crowded for me – I think I’d like to find somewhere a little bit a.) closer and b.) a bit more off the beaten path – I’m looking for contrast, after all, and it wasn’t quite different enough from home.

Still, some really great times/memories – I went out kayaking with J, and it reminded me a LOT of spending time on the lake at the cabin my aunt used, when my cousin & I would play out in the lake. I’d love to do more of that, and am seriously looking into picking up a kayak to do that again more locally.

K was really good  - he cried a lot on the trip home, but on the trip up, where traffic was horrendous (and we had to stop to charge up the car halfway up) he was *amazing*. He’s also getting way more aware of things – he knows his mom (less his dad, since I spend a lot less time with him (*weeps*)), and appeared to realize when he was *actually* home. Generally a really pleasant, good-natured kid, and a lot like J in many ways (though a.) much, much bigger, and b.) still fairly different, personality-wise) – it’s clear that they’re brothers, but not the same.

Otherwise, things are chugging along. Work’s … work.

There’s still a fair deal of work to do on the house – the interior’s basically done – I spent the last few days before we went up to Donner just reorganizing the garage, and made a TON more space, but still have a ways to go. Reorganized all my music gear, which was good. Tomorrow, a few errands to run – I might pick up one more wire rack to just up the storage space, since I think we’ve got a lot more stuff we need to store. One of these days I’ll tackle the hallway closet, but I think that’s almost another day or two worth of work to figure out what to do with what’s in there. :P

The few remaining house projects: Concrete work in the front (including the front stairs & walkway), concrete work up the side of the house (which we’d do at the same time as the front). Theoretically re-stucco-ing the remaining three walls of the house. Concrete work in the back, or just redoing the back patio. Also the entire backyard.

So still a reasonable amount of stuff to do.

Also gotta paint the stairwell – it’s mostly done, just have some edging, a touch of sanding, and have to pull off the railings to paint it properly. Friday, maybe? Saturday? I dunno. Was easier when J consistently took naps in the afternoon. Alas!

Anyway. Yeah. What else? Been picking up tons of boardgames. Formula D, Dreadball, The Perfect Heist, etc. Mostly Kickstarter stuff – but it’s been interesting seeing the rise of boardgames on Kickstarter. Stuff like Dreadball really feels like it’s enabled by advances in manufacturing, and it’ll be interesting to see how the bar for miniature-based games changes as 3D printing becomes progressively more commonplace.

The last thing – I really want to make this the year that some of the interior of the house gets organized, but more, I want to finally lose some of this weight, and get down to and *maintain* a weight that’s close to 200 lbs. We’d done a good job with the paleo diet, and it worked amazingly well when we stuck to it – but the catch is that with work & just trying to find things we can do in a timely fashion with the two kids, it’s been really easy to lapse ALL THE TIME. And the problem with the paleo diet is that if you do it half-assed, it’s WAY worse than almost anything else. So, back on the train, back with some discipline, and even over the last few days, I’ve seen a noticeable improvement. Give it a few more weeks, and we’ll see where we are.

I picked up a new bike attachment for J, because he no longer fits in the Wee Ride. It’s one of those things that clamps to your seatpost, and is just a handle, seat, pedals, and rear wheel. So far, it’s been good, but it is a little weird ’cause there some backlash in the clamp joint, and it’s a little hard to get used to the wobble. It’ll be interesting at some point if I end up carrying K in the Wee Ride, J on the “Afterburner” (that’s what it’s labeled – I’m sure there’s some more generic name for it), and riding around with three people. At least some time in the future, J will actually pedal. I hope. :D

It’s a little bit odd these days to write a blog post. It’s so easy to post incremental thoughts on Twitter, G+ or Facebook that they often end up there – but looking back over the last few years, one of the things I really like about blogging is that it’s *mine* – and it’s persistent.

I can look back over the last few years, and see what’s happened. So… what’s happened recently? Yeesh. A lot of stuff. The kiddo’s growing up quick. He’s getting bigger, talking a LOT – he talks about just about everything, and every day, his thoughts get more and more complex. It’s really, genuinely wonderful to see him learning about the world, and drawing new connections to things. He’ll say things like, “Oh! Oh! That car is blue… like our car!” Or all kinds of other, weirder things that show he’s actually looking at the details of the world, and using them to make connections.

We’re about to pull the trigger on a fairly extensive interior remodel of the house – finally repairing the bathroom. Well, not so much “repairing” as “completely changing everything about” the bathroom, but it is what it is. We’ve got more space than we know what to do with, so might as well make the things we use regularly work as well as possible.

Around April this year, Self Aware Games was acquired by Big Fish Games. That transition’s been really interesting and educational. In many ways it’s wonderful, but at the same time, I think I miss (and I really, really didn’t think this is something I’d miss) feeling *critical* to the process. I feel like I’m definitely replaceable now, and that even without me, things could continue to progress in a positive way, which is something I had my doubts about before. This is both a great thing and a very odd one, and to be totally honest, it does make me feel like something’s “missing” that I valued. It’s just an adjustment, though – in all, the sum total of the change is wildly positive.

Let’s see – what else? A few months ago, we went to the Big Island of Hawaii, and it was awesome. Just totally awesome. We got to spend time with friends, see somewhere new, and the kiddo loved it. Later this year we’ll probably swing up to Ottawa for the X-mas break, and see my family up there, and introduce them to the kiddo, which will be excellent. I’d like to go to Australia next, but I have no idea when that might work out. Maybe I can convince work to send me (and the family) to PAX Australia. Ha.

I did go to PAX last weekend, which was pretty darned fun. Intense, and busy as hell – I haven’t been that wiped out in a very long time, but we got to see a ton of people interact with Casino & Fleck, and one thing was fairly clear – PAX is definitely the crowd to push Fleck to when it’s ready for a bigger audience. Folks who saw it almost universally “got” it.

Otherwise, stuff continues to chug along. Been playing some games – Transformers: Fall of Cybertron was excellent. Sleeping Dogs is fun so far. Playing a bunch of stuff on the iPad, from Bastion to still cranking away at games on Hero Academy.

Been cooking stuff from Ferran Adria’s “Family Meals”, which have been awesome so far. Picked up the book on the recommendation of a friend who I haven’t seen in more than 10 years, but hung out with a few weeks ago. It was great to see him (and another friend who I hadn’t seen for a similarly long time), and the cookbook is absolutely excellent. :)

A while back, we’d taken up a “primal” diet – cut out almost all grain, sugar, and a handful of other things. During that time, nearly effortlessly, I’d lost weight, gotten a lot more energy, slept better, and was *psyched* about things. Everything felt better – WAS better. But slowly, over the last six months, things have constantly degraded – more sweets, more grains, etc. and the results now are obvious. I’ve put some weight back on (not nearly all I’ve lost, but about 10 lbs.), energy levels are lower, etc.

The thing is, I have no idea *why* things fell off the wagon. I loved the food I was eating, I felt great, and it was clear that this was the way to go. The big problem is that I still definitely have a sweet tooth, and it’s actually kind of hard to avoid grains at lunch, because almost all lunch food is sandwiches.

That said, it’s not like it’s that hard. It’s *habit*. So, starting tomorrow (even though we’re still on vacation), I’m back on the wagon. Will be doing a really strict no-cheats version of the primal diet in order to really try to break the bad habits for the first 30 days, then trying to find a sustainable balance.

I felt great, ate well, and was optimistic about getting to a point where I was *happy* with how I looked. Let’s do that again.

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Ah, what a silly little bear. Who has a fake strawberry tongue? Really.

In case you’re wondering, the reason I haven’t written anything since the beginning of the year is mostly just that things have been either insanely busy, or … I haven’t had much to say. Work’s gone pretty well. In case you didn’t hear, there was this thing. So that’s been pretty intense. Good, so far, which is awesome.

Life with the family’s also been great. The kiddo’s really talking, and he expresses a lot of thoughts. There are some times when you see him get frustrated that he just doesn’t understand how to say something he’s trying to communicate, but for the most part, he actually can get his point across really well.

He still loves trucks, construction equipment, garbage trucks and the like. He plays a lot with my old Matchbox cars from when I was growing up. So he has a lot of cars now that are dated from 1978. Which will eventually make him the coolest kid on the block… when he’s 35.

Has anything changed recently? Not really. House stuff is still basically in the same state it’s been in for a while. We got some stuff tidied up in the kitchen, which was a long time coming, but there’s still a lot to go. Bathroom upstairs, 3 of the exterior walls, and a ton of concrete work around the house (front steps, walkways, side walkway, back patio), so it’s still gonna be a fairly sizable chunk of change & time to get all this stuff done.

In terms of the New Year’s Resolutions – making progress on all of them, and all of them for various reasons have also hit some roadblocks. Which is normal for everything, I suppose. Still, progress… and progress is generally good.

These days, we spend a lot of time at the Oakland Zoo, which is great. Kiddo loves to check out all the animals, and he really enjoys running around, looking at waterfalls (sometimes more than the animals), and watching things. It’s a nice place – the animals look really well cared for, and the atmosphere is really wonderful.

Been biking a bit, too. I don’t think I mentioned it before, but my bike got stolen just before Christmas, from the work bikeroom. Someone had “tailed” someone else in, and then hung around, ate some food they stole from the donation bins, and picked apart a bunch of bikes for parts, which they took with mine, since I was stupid enough to believe the locked bike room door would be enough. Live and learn. I ended up replacing it with a 2012 Cannondale Bad Boy, which is basically the new version of the exact same bike. So far, it’s really great – best bike I’ve ever had – and Jin loves going for rides. Now that the weather’s more regularly turned up, I hope we go on a lot more rides this year.

Haven’t been playing a ton of games on consoles these days. Mostly because I think I end up wiped out from work (which really never feels justified, for me, but it is what it is), and don’t want to get all wound up in the evenings. It’s not like I don’t want to play Mass Effect 3. Or any of the other stack of 30+ games I’ve barely started. Still, I’ve been playing a bit on the Playstation Vita (Uncharted, Rayman Origins), a lot on the iPad (Fairway Solitaire, Hero Academy), and a bit on the PS3 (Journey, House of the Dead 4).

If you miss random thoughts about game design, you can always check out http://www.selfawaregames.com – most of my game-related thoughts end up there.

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1.) Fleck profitable
2.) Under 195 lbs
3.) Travel somewhere interesting

A few weeks ago, my maternal grandmother passed away. Just like when my paternal grandparents passed, I had basically no idea what to do about it. I felt the obvious sense of loss, but the distance made the whole occasion feel … remote. Obaachan had a huge impact on my life, though in a totally different way than Iso Isa or Iso Aiti.

There’s a lot I could say, but ultimately, the best example is that well into her late eighties, she was taking care of “senior citizens” who were young enough to be her children. She used to send me little packages of Japanese things, and they were always my favorite boxes to open – full of all manner of stuff, from crackers to yokan to Transformers (or whatever they were actually called in Japanese). The language barrier created more distance as I grew older, and societal conventions weighed more – but if I could, and if she would have felt what I felt, I always wanted to run up to her and give her a big hug.

Rest well, Obaachan. I miss you, and you will always be in my heart.

The other side of the coin, of course, is Jin. He gets more and more interesting every day. He still loves his trucks – specifically “front loader trash truck!” – but he can name almost every truck-like thing under the sun. Still gets his colors confused, but can also count from Uno to Diez in Spanish, which is pretty hilarious. Mostly ’cause he does the whole count even when there are only 3 or 4 things. :D

He’s using the bathroom now, and will tell us when he has to do his thing, which is good – he definitely sometimes *wants* to go, and other times clearly knows he has to, but doesn’t want to go because something else is more interesting. But yeah – he’s growing like a little weed. He plays in the park, wants to go dig in the sand, wants to go see the animals at the zoo, and loves walking around the neighborhood & playing with Moby.

He eats tons of “applesauce” – but it’s not applesauce. It’s raspberries/blueberries/blackberries & yogurt. He loves watermelon. Every so often he goes on a tear & eats a bunch of meat, but usually, he’s more focused on the fruit & “coco pancake!”, which are the coconut flour pancakes that E’s made for him (which are *delicious*).

Work is going well. Busy as always, stressful as always, but good things are getting done. Can’t wait to see what comes next.

Yesterday evening, we went to the park. I biked over, E picked up the kiddo, and we met at the little park by the branch library. Kiddo was more interested in the trucks & buses driving by than the slides or swings, so we hung out on the grass for a while, and chased him.

He ran, giggled, fell over, and all was well. At one point, he got a little close to traffic, so I herded him back toward the playground. He ran around me and back out to traffic, and like I’ve done a hundred times before, I grabbed his arm, hoisted him in the air, and swung him around me so he was facing the other direction.

This time, though, when he landed, he was visibly upset. “Owie mano,” and he clutched his little hand.

My heart sunk. Obviously something was wrong. He was just sort of stunned at first, but eventually started crying, and for the next few minutes, it got progressively worse. Nothing in his hand appeared to specifically upset him, but he kept repeating “Owie mano.”

E put him in the car, I biked home, gathered up some stuff, and we went off to the emergency room. Fortunately, on the way there, E had the clarity to call the pediatricians’ office, which was still open. At the Summit parking lot, they called us back & talked us through the issue. The nurse on the other side thought his elbow might be dislocated, and taught us to sit with him facing us, grabbing his elbow with one hand, holding his palm down at his thigh, then to rotate his hand so his palm was facing up, and his elbow was bent, sort of like a “what’s up?” gesture.

I didn’t feel anything pop, as the nurse suggested, but almost immediately, he began using his hand again. I couldn’t have been more grateful, and of course, now that the immediate urgency was over, I ended up bawling like a … well, like a baby.

I know he’ll get injured as he grows up. I just felt absolutely gutted that it was my fault. That literally, *I* did this to him. I’ll be more careful in the future, but… man.

Ugh.

Ei-Nyung let me do a LOT of ridiculous stuff today. From sleeping in to playing tons of inFamous 2 to going go-karting, she made today a pretty leisure-filled day, which was awesome.

But really, that’s not what Father’s Day is about anyway. Everything’s about Tiny Mr. Fella, and I can’t believe it’s my second Father’s Day as a dad.

He’s almost running. He walks really fast (and usually screams while doing it). Instead of only knowing words we’ve made an effort to teach him, he’s now mimicking things & discerning their meaning on his own (scary times!). He can tell us stuff, like when he has to go poo-poo or pee-pee, even though he’s not quite 100%, he’s getting much better.

He loves trucks. Loves ‘em. He loves to play with toy trucks, he loves to look at books with trucks in them, and he loves to point them out as we’re driving around. It’s weird. Now, if I’m driving around on my own, if I pass a mail truck, it’s surprising that no one’s yelling out MAIL TRUCK!

He can walk up and down the stairs, as long as you lend him a ‘manos’, and we now go for walks around the block with Mobius, and they don’t quite take the hour that they used to.

He knows “hot” and “not hot”, though his understanding of them are a little skewed. He sometimes tries to drink milk & water out of two different sippy cups at the same time, which is… cumbersome.

He loves going to the zoo. He’d first gone to the zoo, back when he didn’t have much awareness of the animals. Then we taught him a bunch of them by pointing them out in his books. Now when he goes to the zoo, he knows a ton of the animals by name and can point them out.

His sign for turtle is pretty ridiculous. He cups one hand over an extended thumb (as you’re supposed to), but then goes “boop!” and the turtle explodes! Now when we go to see the turtles, I just as him, “Where’s the boop!?” and he makes the sign, laughs, and points to the turtle.

What a funny little kiddo.

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