six seven six

It’s a little bit odd these days to write a blog post. It’s so easy to post incremental thoughts on Twitter, G+ or Facebook that they often end up there - but looking back over the last few years, one of the things I really like about blogging is that it’s *mine* - and it’s persistent.

I can look back over the last few years, and see what’s happened. So… what’s happened recently? Yeesh. A lot of stuff. The kiddo’s growing up quick. He’s getting bigger, talking a LOT - he talks about just about everything, and every day, his thoughts get more and more complex. It’s really, genuinely wonderful to see him learning about the world, and drawing new connections to things. He’ll say things like, “Oh! Oh! That car is blue… like our car!” Or all kinds of other, weirder things that show he’s actually looking at the details of the world, and using them to make connections.

We’re about to pull the trigger on a fairly extensive interior remodel of the house - finally repairing the bathroom. Well, not so much “repairing” as “completely changing everything about” the bathroom, but it is what it is. We’ve got more space than we know what to do with, so might as well make the things we use regularly work as well as possible.

Around April this year, Self Aware Games was acquired by Big Fish Games. That transition’s been really interesting and educational. In many ways it’s wonderful, but at the same time, I think I miss (and I really, really didn’t think this is something I’d miss) feeling *critical* to the process. I feel like I’m definitely replaceable now, and that even without me, things could continue to progress in a positive way, which is something I had my doubts about before. This is both a great thing and a very odd one, and to be totally honest, it does make me feel like something’s “missing” that I valued. It’s just an adjustment, though - in all, the sum total of the change is wildly positive.

Let’s see - what else? A few months ago, we went to the Big Island of Hawaii, and it was awesome. Just totally awesome. We got to spend time with friends, see somewhere new, and the kiddo loved it. Later this year we’ll probably swing up to Ottawa for the X-mas break, and see my family up there, and introduce them to the kiddo, which will be excellent. I’d like to go to Australia next, but I have no idea when that might work out. Maybe I can convince work to send me (and the family) to PAX Australia. Ha.

I did go to PAX last weekend, which was pretty darned fun. Intense, and busy as hell - I haven’t been that wiped out in a very long time, but we got to see a ton of people interact with Casino & Fleck, and one thing was fairly clear - PAX is definitely the crowd to push Fleck to when it’s ready for a bigger audience. Folks who saw it almost universally “got” it.

Otherwise, stuff continues to chug along. Been playing some games - Transformers: Fall of Cybertron was excellent. Sleeping Dogs is fun so far. Playing a bunch of stuff on the iPad, from Bastion to still cranking away at games on Hero Academy.

Been cooking stuff from Ferran Adria’s “Family Meals”, which have been awesome so far. Picked up the book on the recommendation of a friend who I haven’t seen in more than 10 years, but hung out with a few weeks ago. It was great to see him (and another friend who I hadn’t seen for a similarly long time), and the cookbook is absolutely excellent.

A while back, we’d taken up a “primal” diet - cut out almost all grain, sugar, and a handful of other things. During that time, nearly effortlessly, I’d lost weight, gotten a lot more energy, slept better, and was *psyched* about things. Everything felt better - WAS better. But slowly, over the last six months, things have constantly degraded - more sweets, more grains, etc. and the results now are obvious. I’ve put some weight back on (not nearly all I’ve lost, but about 10 lbs.), energy levels are lower, etc.

The thing is, I have no idea *why* things fell off the wagon. I loved the food I was eating, I felt great, and it was clear that this was the way to go. The big problem is that I still definitely have a sweet tooth, and it’s actually kind of hard to avoid grains at lunch, because almost all lunch food is sandwiches.

That said, it’s not like it’s that hard. It’s *habit*. So, starting tomorrow (even though we’re still on vacation), I’m back on the wagon. Will be doing a really strict no-cheats version of the primal diet in order to really try to break the bad habits for the first 30 days, then trying to find a sustainable balance.

I felt great, ate well, and was optimistic about getting to a point where I was *happy* with how I looked. Let’s do that again.

Ah, what a silly little bear. Who has a fake strawberry tongue? Really.

In case you’re wondering, the reason I haven’t written anything since the beginning of the year is mostly just that things have been either insanely busy, or … I haven’t had much to say. Work’s gone pretty well. In case you didn’t hear, there was this thing. So that’s been pretty intense. Good, so far, which is awesome.

Life with the family’s also been great. The kiddo’s really talking, and he expresses a lot of thoughts. There are some times when you see him get frustrated that he just doesn’t understand how to say something he’s trying to communicate, but for the most part, he actually can get his point across really well.

He still loves trucks, construction equipment, garbage trucks and the like. He plays a lot with my old Matchbox cars from when I was growing up. So he has a lot of cars now that are dated from 1978. Which will eventually make him the coolest kid on the block… when he’s 35.

Has anything changed recently? Not really. House stuff is still basically in the same state it’s been in for a while. We got some stuff tidied up in the kitchen, which was a long time coming, but there’s still a lot to go. Bathroom upstairs, 3 of the exterior walls, and a ton of concrete work around the house (front steps, walkways, side walkway, back patio), so it’s still gonna be a fairly sizable chunk of change & time to get all this stuff done.

In terms of the New Year’s Resolutions - making progress on all of them, and all of them for various reasons have also hit some roadblocks. Which is normal for everything, I suppose. Still, progress… and progress is generally good.

These days, we spend a lot of time at the Oakland Zoo, which is great. Kiddo loves to check out all the animals, and he really enjoys running around, looking at waterfalls (sometimes more than the animals), and watching things. It’s a nice place - the animals look really well cared for, and the atmosphere is really wonderful.

Been biking a bit, too. I don’t think I mentioned it before, but my bike got stolen just before Christmas, from the work bikeroom. Someone had “tailed” someone else in, and then hung around, ate some food they stole from the donation bins, and picked apart a bunch of bikes for parts, which they took with mine, since I was stupid enough to believe the locked bike room door would be enough. Live and learn. I ended up replacing it with a 2012 Cannondale Bad Boy, which is basically the new version of the exact same bike. So far, it’s really great - best bike I’ve ever had - and Jin loves going for rides. Now that the weather’s more regularly turned up, I hope we go on a lot more rides this year.

Haven’t been playing a ton of games on consoles these days. Mostly because I think I end up wiped out from work (which really never feels justified, for me, but it is what it is), and don’t want to get all wound up in the evenings. It’s not like I don’t want to play Mass Effect 3. Or any of the other stack of 30+ games I’ve barely started. Still, I’ve been playing a bit on the Playstation Vita (Uncharted, Rayman Origins), a lot on the iPad (Fairway Solitaire, Hero Academy), and a bit on the PS3 (Journey, House of the Dead 4).

If you miss random thoughts about game design, you can always check out http://www.selfawaregames.com - most of my game-related thoughts end up there.

1.) Fleck profitable
2.) Under 195 lbs
3.) Travel somewhere interesting

A few weeks ago, my maternal grandmother passed away. Just like when my paternal grandparents passed, I had basically no idea what to do about it. I felt the obvious sense of loss, but the distance made the whole occasion feel … remote. Obaachan had a huge impact on my life, though in a totally different way than Iso Isa or Iso Aiti.

There’s a lot I could say, but ultimately, the best example is that well into her late eighties, she was taking care of “senior citizens” who were young enough to be her children. She used to send me little packages of Japanese things, and they were always my favorite boxes to open - full of all manner of stuff, from crackers to yokan to Transformers (or whatever they were actually called in Japanese). The language barrier created more distance as I grew older, and societal conventions weighed more - but if I could, and if she would have felt what I felt, I always wanted to run up to her and give her a big hug.

Rest well, Obaachan. I miss you, and you will always be in my heart.

The other side of the coin, of course, is Jin. He gets more and more interesting every day. He still loves his trucks - specifically “front loader trash truck!” - but he can name almost every truck-like thing under the sun. Still gets his colors confused, but can also count from Uno to Diez in Spanish, which is pretty hilarious. Mostly ’cause he does the whole count even when there are only 3 or 4 things.

He’s using the bathroom now, and will tell us when he has to do his thing, which is good - he definitely sometimes *wants* to go, and other times clearly knows he has to, but doesn’t want to go because something else is more interesting. But yeah - he’s growing like a little weed. He plays in the park, wants to go dig in the sand, wants to go see the animals at the zoo, and loves walking around the neighborhood & playing with Moby.

He eats tons of “applesauce” - but it’s not applesauce. It’s raspberries/blueberries/blackberries & yogurt. He loves watermelon. Every so often he goes on a tear & eats a bunch of meat, but usually, he’s more focused on the fruit & “coco pancake!”, which are the coconut flour pancakes that E’s made for him (which are *delicious*).

Work is going well. Busy as always, stressful as always, but good things are getting done. Can’t wait to see what comes next.

Yesterday evening, we went to the park. I biked over, E picked up the kiddo, and we met at the little park by the branch library. Kiddo was more interested in the trucks & buses driving by than the slides or swings, so we hung out on the grass for a while, and chased him.

He ran, giggled, fell over, and all was well. At one point, he got a little close to traffic, so I herded him back toward the playground. He ran around me and back out to traffic, and like I’ve done a hundred times before, I grabbed his arm, hoisted him in the air, and swung him around me so he was facing the other direction.

This time, though, when he landed, he was visibly upset. “Owie mano,” and he clutched his little hand.

My heart sunk. Obviously something was wrong. He was just sort of stunned at first, but eventually started crying, and for the next few minutes, it got progressively worse. Nothing in his hand appeared to specifically upset him, but he kept repeating “Owie mano.”

E put him in the car, I biked home, gathered up some stuff, and we went off to the emergency room. Fortunately, on the way there, E had the clarity to call the pediatricians’ office, which was still open. At the Summit parking lot, they called us back & talked us through the issue. The nurse on the other side thought his elbow might be dislocated, and taught us to sit with him facing us, grabbing his elbow with one hand, holding his palm down at his thigh, then to rotate his hand so his palm was facing up, and his elbow was bent, sort of like a “what’s up?” gesture.

I didn’t feel anything pop, as the nurse suggested, but almost immediately, he began using his hand again. I couldn’t have been more grateful, and of course, now that the immediate urgency was over, I ended up bawling like a … well, like a baby.

I know he’ll get injured as he grows up. I just felt absolutely gutted that it was my fault. That literally, *I* did this to him. I’ll be more careful in the future, but… man.

Ugh.

Ei-Nyung let me do a LOT of ridiculous stuff today. From sleeping in to playing tons of inFamous 2 to going go-karting, she made today a pretty leisure-filled day, which was awesome.

But really, that’s not what Father’s Day is about anyway. Everything’s about Tiny Mr. Fella, and I can’t believe it’s my second Father’s Day as a dad.

He’s almost running. He walks really fast (and usually screams while doing it). Instead of only knowing words we’ve made an effort to teach him, he’s now mimicking things & discerning their meaning on his own (scary times!). He can tell us stuff, like when he has to go poo-poo or pee-pee, even though he’s not quite 100%, he’s getting much better.

He loves trucks. Loves ‘em. He loves to play with toy trucks, he loves to look at books with trucks in them, and he loves to point them out as we’re driving around. It’s weird. Now, if I’m driving around on my own, if I pass a mail truck, it’s surprising that no one’s yelling out MAIL TRUCK!

He can walk up and down the stairs, as long as you lend him a ‘manos’, and we now go for walks around the block with Mobius, and they don’t quite take the hour that they used to.

He knows “hot” and “not hot”, though his understanding of them are a little skewed. He sometimes tries to drink milk & water out of two different sippy cups at the same time, which is… cumbersome.

He loves going to the zoo. He’d first gone to the zoo, back when he didn’t have much awareness of the animals. Then we taught him a bunch of them by pointing them out in his books. Now when he goes to the zoo, he knows a ton of the animals by name and can point them out.

His sign for turtle is pretty ridiculous. He cups one hand over an extended thumb (as you’re supposed to), but then goes “boop!” and the turtle explodes! Now when we go to see the turtles, I just as him, “Where’s the boop!?” and he makes the sign, laughs, and points to the turtle.

What a funny little kiddo.

So. Mr. Bebeh is getting older. What’s he up to these days? He’s just about to get the hang of running. But he’s also talking a lot.

• Moon = Boooh!
• Banana = Nana
• Apple = Babbul
• Jin = Geeee
• Cheese = Cheee!
• Mama = Ma ma
• Dada = Da da
• Daddy = DaDEEEEEE!
• Mobius = Mmmmo
• Car = Gaaa
• Shoes = Patos (Zapatos)
• Yes = Yaaa
• No = No

He also knows the sign for bird, which he uses a lot. I’m trying to teach him the sign for cow, but it’s a little tricky, since we don’t see that many cows on a day-to-day basis.

He’s at a point, though, where if you ask him to try to repeat something, he stands a reasonable chance of making sounds that are at least marginally intelligible as the thing you’re trying to get him to say. Okay, maybe 30% of the time. He’s also a lot more willful than he used to be - he sees something and knows whether he wants it or not. Used to be he’d be pretty receptive to just about anything. Now, if he doesn’t want something, he’ll clearly say “no”. Not so successful with “yes” yet, but hey. Progress.

He’s got some little shoes - they’re very minimal, so the soles are very thin, and they’re really flexible. He walks just about everywhere now, so we have to remember to put shoes on him when we go out, which is weirdly new(ish, it’s been about a month or two).

He still likes banging on the Rock Band drums. He now stands on a little tower to watch us cook & clean in the kitchen. He mostly sleeps through the night, but there are some nights (like last night) where he wakes up a lot & gets really upset. Could be teething, as his last two bottom teeth are coming in.

Man. So strange. He really is a little person. He likes little trucks, cars and buses, he loves reading time, he loves bath time, he’s sort of 50-50 on various foods (definitely loves sweets, though we don’t give him much at all), and *LOVES* his “ma ma!”

What a silly little fella.

And yes, for a very brief moment, Mr. J was at GDC. Which means he’s been to more GDC’s than probably 90% of the actual game industry. HA!

It’s almost impossible to keep a record of how fast the kiddo grows up. Every day something new happens, and though most of them are small, by the time you look back, even two weeks ago, he’s grown so much.

He can blow (and suck) on a harmonica and make sound. This is the harmonica he got from his grandparents. He walks. Everywhere. I took him to the park this morning, and not only did he slide down the slide, he walked around to the stairs, climbed up the stairs, walked over to the slide, and went down again. I guided him a little, but he did everything on his own.

He’s not only got a will of his own, but he can communicate it. He can point at the swings, walk there, and gesture for me to lift him up. He can make the sign for “birds”, since Ei-Nyung taught him how to do that. He’s walked over to the bathroom when he’s had to use the toilet (though not as consistently as we’d say, like). He will say “mama” and look over at Ei-Nyung. If you ask him, “Where’s mama?” he’ll go find her.

You can chase him, and he’ll run away. He knows how to tickle people (though we play-laugh more than laugh at this point - I expect that’ll actually change soon). He can climb up on lots of things, but it’s really funny when he climbs onto an adult seat (like the recliners) and sits down in the middle. He gets a really self-satisfied look.

He can spoon food & get it (mostly) in his mouth. He can eat just about everything, though he doesn’t necessarily want to eat everything. Still, he’s relatively open to trying new stuff. He laughs at the “BING BANG CRASH SLAM!” part of Mike Mulligan. He’ll pick up the book he wants you to read him, and he’ll wave it around at you to show you. He knows when he’s getting his bedtime story (usually Mike Mulligan is the kicker), because he’ll walk over and cuddle up next to you, which he doesn’t do for most stories.

He’s getting a LOT of teeth. I think he has 14, now? It’s crazy. You look in his mouth and there are teeth everywhere! He still likes to have a pacifier (ju-ju). There was a while where he’d say, “Chu! Daaaaaaah,” and if you said “Chu!” he’d say “Daaaaah.” Adorable. Same goes the other way. He’d say “Chu!” and expect you to respond properly.

He definitely dances to music, and has songs that he likes.

It’s pretty bonkers to think that only a few short months ago he wasn’t walking. Heck, less than a month ago he wasn’t regularly walking around. Or saying all that much we could make heads or tails of. What a little weirdo. I can’t wait to see what’s next!

So, I was listening to a This American Life on the way into the office this morning, and there was a discussion about having a scientist convincing a global warming skeptic that global warming was real. And the interesting thing, to me, was that the scientist made an argument by citing facts, measurements, trends, and scientific consensus, and it had absolutely no impact on the skeptic.

Which was, I thought, patently obvious.

The problem was that the skeptic had already discussed how or why they were skeptical, and the underlying reasoning was simply that there are “two sides to every story,” and the skepticism came from the inability to accurately assess the merit of the arguments that were being made.

But so the interesting thing to me was that the scientist utterly failed to have an impact because they weren’t able to assess the argument that needed to be made.  And holy cow, I’m guilty of this at times. But you can’t convince someone who doesn’t believe in facts with facts.

So what do you do? I’m not sure, honestly - because ultimately what you need to do is you need to teach someone how to think. If you ever get into an argument and someone says “there are two sides to every story,” you’ve already lost because saying that indicates that that person has no ability to give weight to an argument.

But I think the fundamental point is that you have to start with the fundamentals. You have to teach people how to judge how to tell good information from bad, and that anyone can have an opinion, but those opinions aren’t all worth the same. Which seems to be generally where Democratic politicians fail - you can’t argue policy or facts without teaching your opponents the fundamentals - and it’s a hell of a lot easier to teach someone to be willfully ignorant and believe whatever they want to believe.

Yeah, that post went nowhere.